A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Grocery Store

You can't make this kind of stuff up--true story! Yesterday I went to the pet store to pick up two cases of dog food cans, a stuffed toy with all sorts of squeakers in it, and some doggy treats. You would think that carrying that sort of load in your arms while walking in heels in 100-degree heat in light wool pants would have been punishment enough. Well, dear readers, this is where the plot starts to thicken. I set everything down in my trunk, then proceeded to walk to the grocery store next door to pick up a few items. While inside, I caught a couple of glances and what seemed like suppressed grins. Instinctively (and discreetly) I checked to make sure my fly was zipped and that I didn't have a hole in my pants. Nothing. I went through the self-checkout, drove back to work, stepped into the elevator, pressed "4", and watched the doors close in front of me. There in the polished steel and mirrors of the inside of the elevator something caught my eye. I was wearing a bright blue shirt, and on the bottom of my left breast a bright pink spot was screaming for attention. A sticker had migrated from the squeaky plush animal I had carried in my arms to its new home on my breast. Yes, it was bright pink, and in large letters read "Squeeze Me." Horrified (yet LMAO), I tore it off before the elevator doors had a chance to open in front of my co-workers on the 4th floor.

Hey, it could have been worse. Somebody could have actually followed directions!