Audra's Ode to Dogfish, Woody Guthrie style....

Back in October, there was a lil' songwriting contest we had here at Dogfish. Here was the narrative behind the diddy, in our fabulous brewceptionist Nora's words:

Attention Dogfish Head Closet Songwriters: Time To Get Your Woody On!!
You’ve seen Woody’s likeness on our labels, posters, etc., and you’ve sang This Land is Your Land a hundred gazillion times but did you know…
HE WAS A HOMEBREWER?
According to Sam, Woody was not just the Father of the American Protest Song, he was the Father of Extreme Home brewing!

So here’s the deal…

Write a song Woody style about Dogfish! It can be about the brewery, the pub, brewing, anything that reflects this awesome organization! Submit your songs to me on or before November 13, 2009. Qualified participants will each receive a prize. One Grand Prize Winner will be selected by Sam the Man himself!

I decided to enter, especially since it had been a while since I let my creative juices flow.....

Lo and behold, guess who won? YES!! I was so excited Mr. Sam Calagione himself chose my bitty words of songdom. Good thing I didn't have to sing them...let's just say my mom's superior vocal genes weren't passed on to me. How was it exactly my husband described my singing....oh, right! LIKE A CAT DYING.

Anyhoo, I wanted to share!

1. Sam's comment on my lyrics: "Very original--Woodesque without covering his song--like slap the booty part."
2. My contest winning "Ode to Dogfish". Enjoy! Would love to hear your feedback!

Ode to Dogfish by Audra

Gather round the fire, y’all
For this song of lore
‘Bout a group of rebel misfits
On the Del’ware shore.
We brew to the extreme, man
Make no apologies.
Off-centered’s where it’s at, man
At 65 degrees.

Chorus:
We got big balls of bocce,
We mash it in the tun.
We rock sofa king hoppy,
And when the day is done
We Randall us some Chic’ry
N’ sport some Palo wood
We blame it on the 60,
Sh*t, life is pretty good!

The brewers work their magic
With coffee, grapes, and beets,
Raspberries and peaches
Cocoa, cloves, and wheat
And Dogfish would be nowhere
Without our cellar crew,
packaging and warehouse,
Maint’nence, QC too.

Chorus:
We got big balls of bocce,
We mash it in the tun.
We rock sofa king hoppy,
And when the day is done
We Randall us some Chic’ry
N’ sport some Palo wood
We blame it on the 60,
Sh*t, life is pretty good!

Sah’tea, Squall N’ Theo
Burton, Black N’ Blue,
Pangaea, Olde School Barley
Immort, World Wide too.
We spit into your Chicha
And Fort into your glass
Our ninety minute IPA
Can eas’ly kick your….(nothing sung, you slap your own booty)

Chorus:
We got big balls of bocce,
We mash it in the tun.
We rock sofa king hoppy,
And when the day is done
We Randall us some Chic’ry
N’ sport some Palo wood
We blame it on the 60,
Sh*t, life is pretty good!

Yeah, life is pretty good!

Since my last post....

I have moved from NC to DE, wrangled myself a cute little beach house for the winter (complete with more horseshoe crabs than I can shake a stick at), and now work for..............

Yeah, you can say not much has happened. :) More later, promise.

Should we adopt these recommendations in 2009?

I am a numbers junkie; the need for a fix lives on

I'm missing certain aspects of accounting. The general ledger is a beautiful thing. I miss appropriate revenue recognition. I miss calculating in-kind expenses. I miss prepaids. *sigh*

Thank goodness I have two boards where my services in accounting are needed.

I swear there are days where I am all about marketing and generating creative. Then there are others where a balance sheet serves as my lullaby.

My brain truly is juxtaposed. I feel like Jerrica Benton and Jem.

Writing Sample - Digital Artist Feature Introduction

It comes as no surprise that the awe-inspiring advances made in digital technology the past fifteen years have impacted almost every major facet of our increasingly busier lives and remarkably shrinking worlds. Routines have been revised, methods have been reconsidered and thinking has been refreshed.

Technology's tentacles have also managed to wrap themselves around conventional art
forms such as painting, drawing, printing and photography, fusing them all together to create a new genre of art, one which was technically impossible to even fathom just a few short years back. With this new type of art has emerged a new kind of artist, one skilled in fusing conventional art forms with digital processing and
manipulation. Not only are these artists skilled with brushes, pencils, ink and lighting, but they are also proficient with the use of various software packages and computer equipment, utilizing them to enhance their current conventional skill sets. Three such top artists who have mastered this creative synthesis include ________. All three have been highly acclaimed as breakthrough creative experts within this realm of thriving art. A peek into each of their works makes it quite easy to discern why.

Writing Samples - Artist profiles

I was commissioned by a Chicago-based art magazine to profile three mixed media artists. Below are two of my features. The first artist creates a lot of science fiction, H.R. Giger-inspired pieces. The second weaves juxtaposition and unexpected elements into a distinct style all his own. I have deleted the names, locations, images, and contact information for privacy and copyright purposes.

Artist 1

A futuristic fission of sanity, long-since oxidized by apathy, lies helpless by the side of the road, gasping desperately and seeing nothing. Welcome to the macabre, grotesque circus that lies within the shadowed recesses of ______-based ringmaster _________ mind. Unveil the velvet curtain, and one will find beauty in delusional vulgarity's essence, truth amidst the tarnished machinated perversions, and hope etched on innocence in scarlet letters by the hand of a rusty butcher knife and the blunted nails of betrayal. A distinct stench of the presence of purity exists within each of _____'s creations, though one will often find himself on a scavenger hunt through the thickets of the netherworld, warbling a swan song in a foreign tongue, in order to enlighten himself to embrace it. Passionate obsession personified, _______'s background is as varied and complex as his works, and one must submit himself completely in order to gain a greater understanding of this digital kingpin's evolution.
Before he ever picked up a camera, ______ was sculpting and drawing by the age of two. That was when he really started looking at things and translating what his impressions were into 2-d and 3-d renderings. At the same time, he grew a large fascination with the design, mechanics, and architecture of the human form. It was as if his working in clay or on paper were nothing more than notes on his observations. Even at such a tender age, he recalls living in awe with the idea that one could create something from nothing. _______ then started painting in his early pre-teen years and continued doing so for decades, though he was never quite happy with what he created, nor did his paintings turn out quite like he had envisioned. Painting simply left him exhausted. He then started photographing his models for his paintings with a Polaroid, and a short while later he stumbled upon digital photography. He discovered he was really happy with some of the images he was taking as "photographs" and then realized it was the photography that actually excited him. While his infatuation with photography grew, he was also playing around with photo manipulation using Photoshop. It was then that he realized through digital manipulation of all of these photographic elements, he didn't have to compromise anymore. Now he could illustrate exactly what was in his head. The painting was merely a stepping stone to the sector of art he felt he truly belonged. However, even with his photography he still feels the need to keep evolving, changing, and creating new pieces. Stagnant is simply not a word found in _______'s dictionary.
Influenced by such icons as Andy Warhol, Pablo Picasso, Max Ernst, Salvador Dali, Jackson Pollock, Helmut Newton, and J.K. Potter, _______ has always been fascinated by artists who bring something new and true to the table, artists who are honest with themselves and the world around them, artists who have something to say and who document themselves and their worlds. Through the aforementioned individuals ______ has learned to be true to himself, to realize who and what he is, and in turn, to stand proud.
As for where ______ draws his inspiration and motivation to create, he seeks everywhere from freeways to grocery stores. He walks around the street and soaks up humanity’s interactions with one another, their perceptions, their truths, and their lies, and he observes how individuals treat each other, as well as themselves. His art is simply a manifestation of who he watches and listens.
Of all the projects he has worked on over the years, _______ finds fine art to be his favorite. Typically the models find him through various media and desire to become a part of his personal, creative process. Restrictions are few, and the commitment to create something celebrated and profound is echoed loudly on both sides of the table. In turn, this sentiment brings a flourishing dynamic to the work, which money simply can not buy. ________ tends to flirt with extreme contrasts in his imagery, and in the end, if model and photographer mesh well together, a beauty and warmth is cast upon what would otherwise often be viewed as harsh and disturbing.
Other than ________’s website, his work may also be found in comic book shops. His extensive history with sculpting limited edition collectables for ____ ______ Comics has yielded him a number of honors, and to date he has created busts for _____ and the Matrix, as well as a limited edition bronze for one of Frank Frazetta’s paintings. For print or sculpture inquiries, _______ may be reached at __________________.
When he isn’t busy creating, ______ is busy observing, and he spends his free time doing both with the most feverish passion. His lofty level of unadulterated integrity heralds his reputation as one of the finest digital artists of today, as well as crowns him a prince in a dying breed of golden-hearted masters who create purely out of the love itself. Strange ways may make for strange days, but ________ takes the aesthetic to an entirely new level.


Artist 2


Very rarely does an artist come along these days whose style of shooting portraiture, fashion, or editorial is almost immediately recognizable, not only for the distinctive posing but also the framing and post-processing effects, most notably the latter. _____-based photographer and digital guru ______ is one of those few rare gems you stumble upon while wistfully combing the beaches in search of something radically different than the millions of grains of homogeneous sand that stretch on for seemingly endless miles. He has set himself far apart from the digital norm through his superior utilization of Photoshop and resulting images, which are truly unparalleled and unique to every degree. The highly-respected popularity of his work has even brought about the coining of a new phrase “_____-Style” within the booming industry. One visit to the Pandora’s Box that is his portfolio immediately pulls you into a visceral dreamscape of textures, hues, and emotions, lines between fantasy and reality blurred by the smudge of crimson lipstick and cotton candy whispers. His science fiction influences tend to mischievously hide around the corner and pop out at the opportune moment, when your imagination least expects it. In one deep breath you inhale a fragrant bouquet of contrasting moods, captivating stolen glances, complex erotic slivers, and animated psyches, but you can exhale only pure, utter admiration. How does one capture each of his subject’s personalities so keenly, so purely, so poignantly? We must venture deeper into the bellows of the creative chaotic abyss that is _______’s mind for a greater understanding of this digital sorcerer’s vision.
A long time ago in a galaxy too far away, before digital photography stormed the masses and into our frenetic and tumultuous everyday lives, ________ was studiously snapping away using film. He started out with black and white photography, processing his own prints and experimenting with various special effects and different chemical processes to see what would result. This eventually evolved into drawing directly on photographs with pencils, chalks, dyes, and airbrushing in between layers of lacquer. Influenced heavily by Picasso, Dali, Magritte, Esko, and Escher, ________ relied heavily upon his everyday life experiences as inspiration in creating each of his pieces. Then about eight years ago, while staying in Oregon, he found himself engrossed in an article about a new 2.5-megapixel digital camera that had just come out. The folds of his fascination got the better of him, and he ordered it from New York almost immediately. It was shipped to where he was staying in Oregon, and a week-long stay there turned into a two-and-a-half-month reverie. ________’s passionate love affair with digital photography had officially begun. The rest, quite simply, is history.
Though he works with Paint Shop Pro, various software packages, and plugins, 99% of what _______ creates is through Photoshop. Motivated by the end result, the aesthetic quality of the final version of an image, _______ often starts his model shoots without any preconceived notions. Often it is the collective bundle of the model’s makeup, wardrobe, mood, and personality that ______ uses as the canvas starting point, and the ideas rapidly evolve from there. It’s as if each shoot is personalized and tailored to the model to get the very best from him or her, whatever that may be in terms of fashion, science fiction, horror, nudes, commercial, and editorial work. What often starts as one type of shoot may rapidly switch tracks to another. Perhaps this is why we see such varied raw emotions from each of his models. It’s as if he just lets them go to see which direction they’ll turn.
Besides websites, one may find _______’s work in a number of publications, as well as in the bathroom of the El station at Clark and Foster in Chicago. A work in progress, the piece ______ decided to place there was just to gauge the public’s reaction. For the most part, however, _______ claims to keep a low profile. Future plans of his include publishing a couple of art books and getting involved in the music industry as an editor.
When he isn’t shooting and weaving his digital web of fantasy maidens and fashionable temptresses, ______ enjoys escaping the city and spending ample amounts of time outdoors. One will also find him in the theater enjoying the latest science fiction movie, which comes as no surprise when viewing a number of his images. In a way, _________ has actually created his own artistic reality using scientific means, the digital inputs and outputs of ones and zeros, a virtual wonderland of machinated beauty. The wizardry he performs is a magic carpet ride that leaves us breathless and begging not to ever let go. Why would you want to? Every day with ________ is a brand-new visual journey, where the baggage of routine and monotony is left at home, long-forgotten. I’ll be sure to send a postcard.

The MBA Oath

You might have seen coverage of this recently in the Economist, NY Times, Financial Times, or on NPR, but in case not I thought I’d pass along a link to the MBA Oath . It is a student-led initiative seeking to raise the standard of professionalism for MBAs, in line with other professional degrees such as medicine and law. More specifically, it is: “a voluntary pledge for graduating MBAs to “create value responsibly and ethically.” [The] goal is to begin a widespread movement of MBAs who aim to lead in the interests of the greater good and who have committed to living out the principles articulated in the oath.”

Having read and signed the Oath, I’d encourage anyone at who agrees with its’ tenets to do the same. To read the sign the MBA Oath, please visit: mbaoath.org


Paul Buser
MBA - Harvard Business School - 2009
MPA - Harvard Kennedy School - 2009
pbuser@mba2009.hbs.edu

For the Shogrens: Dorothea, rest in peace

In this lustrous opulence I find a sapphire sanctuary
of sweet surreptitious wonder unlike any other that
has befallen before me. Finally I can rest my head in
solace. That minute locks itself in time to keep a
careful watch over my nightly restless rumblings,
envelops me in its nocturnal anonymity, and strokes
its gentle hand upon my furrowed, worried brow
reassuringly until my breathing slows and the
tormented waves cease....could this be possible? No
longer do I sleep to dream. For I have awoken and am
still dancing upon spindles of moonlight and catching
stars like fireflies. Waving, smiling, falling away
into a feather bed of peace.....I finally rest.

From Beans to Brands (unabridged)

The version posted on http://www.embatalk.com was geared towards EMBA prospects and the EMBA community. My unabridged version was too long to post on that site. Here is the full version I wrote--a draft of course (pardon grammatical errors). Thanks to Linda H for posting and editing the abridged version for EMBAtalk.

Get ready for some flair!

From Beans to Brands: One EMBA alum’s journey from accounting to marketing

My knees slightly bent, my eyes focused intently on the ivory dimpled sphere at my feet, I swing my 3 wood a tad too feverishly. The water hazard punishes my shot by taking my ball into its depths. A perturbed frown quickly graces my face, and I rock back on my heels. What’s a girl to do…well, other than fling my club to the ground in a frustrated fit? But of course: I call a mulligan.
If only the game of life would allow us these bouts of forgiveness golf so generously offers. Perhaps we’d go back to that time in grade school where we taunted the scrawny kid needlessly: mulligan. Or that time we left our mother behind on the doorstep crying: mulligan. Or the way we broke up so abruptly with our college sweetheart: mulligan.
The mulligan I sought involved my career.
You see, I always had a natural bent toward marketing and sales. When I was a little girl I organized these garage sales that brought in a significantly greater amount of money than surrounding homes’ garage sales. When I worked in retail and banquet facility sales during high school and college, respectively, I constantly exceeded my sales goals by more than 100%. I’d assemble marketing plans and promotional campaigns for fun, and then thought nothing of it when the numbers rolled in and rewarded me time and time again. It seemed, well, too easy. Thus, I turned my back on both marketing and sales in favor of the side of business that appeared to be most challenging: accounting. If my class of 60 accounting prospects my freshman year of college dwindled down to 12 by the middle of my sophomore year, then I thought I was well on my way towards accomplishing a significant feat. Math had always come rather easily to me, and accounting was simply like a Rubik’s cube of numbers in my mind that just required some routine order. When my balance sheet would balance, a rush of excitement would course through my veins. A new FASB pronouncement garnered as much excitement as the release date of the Wii. I actually looked forward to compiling an indirect cash flow statement. It’s okay to laugh—I admit I’m a bit quirky. Any of my classmates or family members will be quick to concur. I swear I laugh at my own nuances constantly….but I digress….
For eleven years I measured my successes in accounting terms. At first it was the number of required adjusting journal entries at each year’s end. In my mind, the fewer that were needed, the better job I had done that year. Later on I started measuring my successes in more strategic terms: YOY growth of margins and increases in ROS and ROI resulting from cost cutting measures and capital structure reorganization I spearheaded or implemented. Throughout those first eleven years I seemed to conveniently forget clients mentioning how personable, engaging, and persuasive I was. When I faced a particularly complex series of financial transactions, I forgot my problem solving preparation and escape usually involved penning an essay chock full of alliteration and metaphor. When it came time to presenting ideas and ways of promoting our accounting communications, I forgot how often my way was chosen in relation to others’. When I would meet a complete stranger in the street and enthusiastically strike up some random conversation, which I so love to do, I would dismiss the look of surprise I’d receive when revealing my occupation as that of an accountant. Not once did I think it odd that my roster of close friends included designers, musicians, sales managers, creative strategists, and writers, but excluded accountants. Not once did I think it odd to have this uncanny ability to seamlessly move through and relate to mutually exclusive social circles; during the morning I could be conducting a meeting in a circle of MBA CxOs and VPs, but by evening I’d be having coffee with my eccentric writer friends who not once have ever treated, nor labeled me as business. Not once did I question why I escaped to creative writing after a difficult day, why I procrastinated with completing financials in favor of creating a marketing campaign for a local not-for-profit, or why I was so excitedly advising a colleague about SEO instead of SOX. Over those eleven years I was so focused on the symmetry of the concrete financial blocks I had stacked in such orderly fashion; I had neglected to notice my marketing proclivity had been seeping through the seams all along. I was attempting to chip my ball onto that elusive green with the wrong club; I just didn’t know it yet.
It all came to light in 2007 during the middle of Dr. Balasubramanian’s Global Marketing Management course. I couldn’t remember feeling so inspired in years. In fact, I found myself more passionate about the material we covered and team projects we completed than anything I had experienced in my financial career. Dr. B’s class forced me to confront my denial of my waning passion for accounting, eye-to-eye and toe-to-toe. His class also reopened those doors I had locked on myself so long ago. You see, when I had started the OneMBA program in September 2006, my sights had been set on becoming what Hugh O’Neill calls a “climber”. By the time we had completed Dr. B’s class and returned from our Latin American residency, I had woken up to the realization that my destiny was to become a “shifter”. It was now my task to shift my career from an accounting to a marketing track. Little did I realize how difficult that would be! Not only would I now have to switch my clubs and stance, I would also have to redesign the entire course.
It all began with my job search. I quickly found that while employers were eager to hire me, they wanted me based on my financial expertise rather than my marketing ability. My resume screamed finance any way I sliced it; thus, my brand remained finance. As such, my interviews continued to end with an offer for a financial or accounting position. Heck, I couldn’t even secure an interview with most of the ad agencies or marketing firms. I didn’t have the experience to do what I loved, and yet, I kept getting offers for the types of positions I just didn’t want to do anymore. Talk about a vicious circle. I decided it was high time to completely rebrand myself. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, right?
I set out to meet the people I aspired to be in 5-10 years’ time. The first thing I did was join the Triangle Chapter of the American Marketing Association (http://www.triangleama.org) and soon afterwards was elected to the Board as the Chapter’s Treasurer. Little did I realize how natural a fit I was with this group; through the monthly educational lunches and evening socials we put on, I’ve met dozens of the top marketing movers and shakers within the community. A few rapidly became friends. My goal in the upcoming year is to help out with our Social Media and Newsletter outlets to quench my undying thirst for social networking and their accompanying analytics. Plus, it gets me a little further away from the strictly accounting image.
Ten Thousand Villages of Raleigh (http://www.villagesofraleigh.org) was another Board I joined in July of last year. The rest of the Board quickly embraced me as a Finance Committee member, but I quickly shifted gears to spearhead social media initiatives and webpage development to raise awareness of the store and fair trade in general. Now I try to balance my duties between finance and marketing to keep well-versed in both areas for not-for-profits.
In addition to those two boards, I am also a member of the Loras College National Alumni Board (my undergraduate institution), the OneMBA International Alumni Board (one of the two UNC representatives), and I have just been appointed to the Orange County Arts Commission Board. At each organization to which I belong I take great care to avoid accounting altogether as much as possible and work in a marketing facet instead. And in case you were wondering, no, I don't sleep. My love for life, learning, and giving keeps me constantly intrigued and full of whimsy.
Senior leadership at my current workplace took notice of my rather sudden shift in interest. My knowledge of my company’s brand generated a highly coveted spot on the company’s Brand Advocate team, working closely with Global Brand Management and Corporate Identity—not exactly an accountant’s usual cup of tea. And if that wasn’t enough, I constantly reminded my supervisors of my career aspirations and would not let them dismiss my words as folly. I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t being persistent. I was a squeaky wheel who refused the WD40. But you know something? It worked. In December, a newly created position surfaced in commercial support and merchandising. My former supervisor and current supervisor plucked me out of accounting and put me in merchandising and pricing as a Commercial Consultant. I have honestly never been happier. So a little bit of luck, the right timing, a persuasive case, an open-minded forward-looking boss, and did I mention a little bit of luck?, coupled with (I’d like to believe) the connotative aspects of being surrounded by people and activities who have nothing to do with accounting and everything to do with marketing, helped me make that shift from accounting to marketing. I'm excited to say there are a handful of marketing leaders in the area who can now attest to not only my board work in finance, but in marketing as well. I am finally surrounded by the people I want to be. Ah, the joys and necessity of some seriously time-intensive networking!
I should also mention that I still enjoy accounting: true accounting. I just don't want to do that and only that for the rest of my life. I'm happy to complete some tax returns, compile and analyze financials, study trends, and calculate ratios. But at the same time let me engage in iso-profit scenarios, web strategy, social media analytics, and persuasively minded people-facing activity.

On the other hand, I am not so bold to say that just because I own a pair of FootJoys and golf with Srixon balls I’m a good golfer. Believe me, I’m not. Remember my affinity for water hazards? I also have a mean slice Srixon can’t seem to cure. And for that, I’m just going to have to keep getting saved by calling “mulligan.”
Please feel free to introduce yourself and add me on Facebook (Audra Marotta), Twitter (audragmarotta), and LinkedIn (http://www.linkedin.com/in/agm1127). I’d love to hear from you!

Returning to my roots....literally

I'm going back to blonde. Currently I'm in stage 1. In June I'll complete stage 2, which will bring me back to within one shade of my natural shade of medium blonde. I can say now that my curiosity with dark hair has been satisfied. Won't be coming back to that. Ever.

Triangle AMA News Blog: Triangle AMA Board Members Attend Leadership Summit#links

Triangle AMA News Blog: Triangle AMA Board Members Attend Leadership Summit#links

Here I am with Karen A, Susan A, Marlena F, and Shane J. Click on the link to read about our adventures at the American Marketing Association Leadership Summit in Chicago (well, Rosemont technically.....)

My current reading list

The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz
The End of Poverty by Jeffrey Sachs
The Harvard Business Review Collective on Pricing

On deck:
Social Media Marketing by Dave Evans
Search Engine Marketing by Andreas Ramos

Has anyone read Lynda Resnick's Rubies in the Orchard? I'm getting mixed reviews. I'd like to spend some more time on marketing research if this isn't worth a read.

Dear readers, it has been far too long!

Work has buried me this past month, so I've had very little time to blog. There are a lot of changes afoot, and for the most part they've been positive. I'm excited our pricing team is so cohesive. We work off each other very well. Our "suit up" day has been forever immortalized and framed in our teamspace table. But alas, someone has stolen my Megablocks skid steer loader, complete with cone and my Einstein quote cap. Who would do such a thing? You see, most people decorate their spaces with models of our products. I found the toy versions that you build up like Legos and have found creativity is spawned best when one plays. (IDEO got that right) But now, I have one less toy to play with, much less other people who play with my toys when they come visit my space.

I have quelled my sorrows with some Jeffrey Sachs readings.

Oh, and I have been told I'm a much better fit for marketing than accounting because I exude a "marketing flair". What exactly does that mean?

Bistro 64 AMA social

Last week I was at the Triangle AMA social at Bistro 64, and Brian M snapped a shot of me looking tired and without makeup (the horror!). Since many of you haven't seen me with darker hair (I dyed my hair a warm chocolate back in October), I thought I'd post his pic here. I could use some beauty sleep, but at least I'm smiling!

P.S. Don't worry, I'll be going back to my blonde self once the weather warms up. I had never had dark hair before and wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

New sponsor on SocialVibe: EA Mobile

Thinking young...

...just comes naturally to me. The day I become a corporation, just let me die. Seriously. Just because I'm 32 doesn't mean I have to be a square. Oscar Wilde said it best: "Life is too important to take seriously."

Cartwheel once a week. Go to a toy store. Be a monster at a haunted house. Do silly, creative things you haven't done since you were a kid. Rediscover the arts. Too many people my age (and younger!! egads!!) have forgotten how to imagine, create, and play. It's sad to see that die.

The men in my life: Jason

It's no secret how much I love Metallica. Well, LOVED Metallica would be the technically correct tense. This new Metallica is crap. All I want is for a return to Kill Em All, Master of Puppets, And Justice for All, and even the Black album. In my opinion, everything after the Black album has been tepid at best...and now, ugh.....don't get me started. Death Magnetic? Really? REALLY?! I admit it's hard to top a stellar 20-minute jam session of "One" or a crazy pyrotechnics display accompanying "Harvester of Sorrow", but I fail to be even remotely inspired by anything I've heard of their newest album.

Coincidentally, Metallica is the band I've seen most often live. I've moshed and crowd surfed many a time from 1993 through 1999 with these guys in various locations throughout the Midwest. One summer's show involved $4.00 20oz H20 bottles (insanely priced when the temps are above 90F and you aren't allowed to bring anything from the outside in) and jamming to the Screaming Trees and Soundgarden (and pushing my way up to the stage just in time to catch Chris Cornell's sweat on my arm--whee!) before losing my bikini top while crowd surfing to one of Metallica's opening songs. Another show involved one of my friends getting himself accidentally arrested while we were all tailgating before the show. My deft driving and sharp negotiating skills helped ensure our return back to the show just in time as they took the stage. But my favorite concert of all had to be their show at the Bradley Center in Milwaukee on February 14, 1997.

I was finishing up my junior year at college in Dubuque, IA and was thrilled about planning my Valentine's Day weekend/joint 4-year anniversary with Eric M, my high school/college sweetheart. He was attending college three hours away in Waukesha, WI, and Valentine's Day (for the first time ever since we had been dating) was falling on a Saturday! Now being three hours apart from each other made meetings tough. Coupled with us both playing soccer for our respective schools made it that much more challenging. During soccer season we'd see each other once every 6-8 weeks just for the weekend. During off-season we were still both playing indoor, but it wasn't nearly as rough--every 3-6 weeks. Sometimes I'd make that drive on 151/94, and other times he did. So when I discovered we were both free Valentine's Day weekend, AND it fell on a Saturday, I started planning away like a busy bee, booking the most romantic restaurant in Dubuque (at the time it was above Molly Malone's off Bluff St). I found a gorgeous bed and breakfast, and I was pounding the pavement trying to find the perfect gift for his surprise. It was two months of anticipation and excitement. I was so excited he was coming to see me. Then a week before Valentine's Day, he calls me.

He's gotten 9th row seats to the Metallica show in Milwaukee with a couple of other buds on February 14th. Can we postpone our romantic weekend by a couple weeks? And it wasn't so much a question or request, but rather a statement....and FYI. I was being dumped on cupid's day for Metallica? I mean, yeah, they're 9th row seats, but c'mon! They'd tour again! And we could always see them in Chicago or the Quad Cities or Minneapolis.....but I kept myself pulled together and said nothing. I was fuming. I was gutted. I had spent all this time planning like a good lil' lady, and I was being dumped for a night of drinking beer while jamming to rock stars (awesome as they were). Best part was HE DIDN'T INVITE ME. I guess one of his friends asked him to go, and there were 3-4 dudes going together. Shit! Happy VD to me, eh?

Eric lived on the downstairs floor of a house with three other guys. The upstairs was occupied by four girls. One of these girls was Amy, this nerdy funny blonde from Elgin IL who, I believe, was studying engineering. She and Eric had become pretty good friends, and I met her through him. I called her and told her the entire story of my Valentine's Day disaster and being dumped. Turns out, she wanted to go to that show too, but the guys didn't ask her either. Perhaps we should go together? A plan began to hatch.

Amy agreed to go to her ticket broker and find us seats for under $50. I wouldn't tell Eric I was coming; instead I'd spend the day doing girly things with Amy hanging out at her place upstairs and knocking back a few before heading out to the show together. My plan was to find Eric after the show and hit the bars as one large group together. He was not to know I was coming anytime before that. Amy and I started to plot the logistics. Her broker called back: we had secured ourselves general admission for $45 each. YES! Game on!

I left Dubuque early Saturday morning and drove to downtown Waukesha to leave my Eagle Talon in a place where it wouldn't be easily spotted (it was bright blue with Grateful Dead bears and a big NIN across the back; dead giveaway for anyone who knew me). Amy picked me up in her white Dodge pickup, and we went beer shopping. On the way back to the house I covered myself up in blankets and hid in the bed in case any of the guys were home. Though the entrances to the downstairs and upstairs were separate, there was a common driveway both used. I couldn't risk being spotted. Fortunately, none of the guys was home. We parked the truck, and I snuck upstairs. I spent the day chatting, drinking, napping, and chilling. I heard the guys come back downstairs while I was napping on the couch, and I caught myself smiling about my secret. This was going to be such a cool Valentine's Day dammit.

Amy and I headed out to the Bradley Center early with a 12-pack of Icehouse in the bed. We parked the car in the garage adjoining the venue and proceeded to drink. We finished the whole

case. It took us some time, but we drank it all. We missed Corrosion of Conformity, but didn't care. We strolled in buzzed just as Metallica was setting up. I scanned the place for Eric and the guys. No sign of them anywhere. The lights were cut. Metallica hit the stage. As they opened with "So What!", Amy and I began to scream and cheer. We were drunk and loving life in this moment.

As Metallica progressed through the songs, Amy and I started to push our way forward through the crowd. By the time they were singing "King Nothing" we were right up against the barrier, shoving and cheering, front row and center. I could feel Kirk Hammett's sweat drop on us. The people around us were yelling, pushing, shoving.....my eyes locked with Jason Newsted's just for a moment, and I was instantly mesmerized. I have always had a thing for bass guitar players, and this was going to be no exception. The opening riffs to "One" filled the air, and I was in heaven.

During "Nothing Else Matters" I started noticing this roadie running around in the buffer between the stage and the barrier that held the crowd back from running the stage. He was a little older than me, cute as hell, and wearing a flannel shirt (typical Wisconsin garb). I waved him over to get his attention. At first he ignored me, but then he finally approached me when he realized I would jump on top of the barrier if he didn't. I wrapped my sweaty arms around his neck and noticed a backstage pass was adhered to his t-shirt underneath the flannel. OMG! A possible ticket to see Jason up close! I turned my face to his. Our noses couldn't have been more than an inch apart. I gazed deeply into those handsome eyes and went on and on about how I loved Metallica, how they have been my favorite band for ages, and how it would be such an honor for my "sister" and me to be able to go backstage. Could he help us get backstage? And with that, I planted a big drunken kiss on his cheek and smiled sweetly. The roadie stepped back a bit, smiling. "I'll see what I can do." And with that, he was gone. And he didn't return. Song after song passed. Hell, at least I tried, right? Amy and I continued jamming. We never left that front row.

I remember my eyes filling with tears during "Fade to Black." I had closed my eyes, and I felt I was no longer amidst a crowd of people. I was lost in the guitar, lost in the lyrics, in the music. Time just stood still during that song. To this day, I smile and pause in a private moment whenever "Fade to Black" comes on. This concert was a highlight of the close of my college days. I was drunk and introspective, flirtatious and reflective, riding this path toward my dreams atop a song and possibility of what may be. I was wildly successful in my academic career, and I celebrated in song and prose. This night is one I knew I'd always remember.

I had almost forgotten about the roadie. About an hour after we had parted ways he reappeared, though with nothing in hand. We made a beeline right for me, and I stared into his face quizzically every step of his way. As he stood before Amy and me, he reached into his flannel and pulled out two backstage passes. He handed Amy hers, and he proceeded to peel mine off and place it on my chest, never taking his eyes off mine. I swear I had permagrin; I couldn't stop smiling. Man, his gaze was fierce. He was returning my smile, and I felt the flutter of butterflies. I wrapped my arms around him again, having jumped halfway onto the barrier (my hips were holding me on top of it) and kissed him on the cheek again. "Thank you." I said. "You're welcome", he replied, and with that, he was gone. I never saw him again.

Amy and I freaked. We were going backstage! We were going to meet Metallica! The concert ended, the lights came up, and Amy and I walked around the arena, trying to find Eric and the other guys. No luck. After about 20 minutes we gave up and went to meet the band. I remember waiting in line with a crowd of about 20 other people. Amy and I were chatting, still buzzed from the Icehouse. I was the furthest thing from being tired, though! I was so excited! And then, Jason came out. I didn't really care about the other band members so much. Here was Jason effin' NEWSTED in front of me! Aaaaa! I got all tongue-tied and lamely asked him to sign my Footos shirt. "Foo Fighters, eh?" he asked. "I dig em." I just nodded, silent, like Ralphie did in Santa's lap in A Christmas Story. He scribbled on my shirt, and I walked away from him. What the hell was that, I thought. How lame am I?! This is Jason Newsted, woman. MAN UP TO THE BAR ALREADY. I waited a little bit as others talked to him and then I marched right back up to him, pulled up my shirt, and asked him to sign my *censored for PG audience* LOL. He was smiling and obliged. I then wrapped my left arm around his shoulders while practically sitting on his lap (he didn't seem to mind!), and someone took our picture (the guy who took it never sent me that picture--grrr!). Anyway, Jason was wearing a black sweatshirt with a hoodie on it. I could feel the heat from his sweat though the fabric, but he smelled good. Not like aftershave or cologne, but he didn't stink. I can't exactly describe it. He just smelled.....goooooood. Like a sexy dude would. :D

Amy and I went out to eat afterwards, then it was back to the house. Eric was already in bed sleeping when I knocked on their door to let me in. He was surprised as all hell I was there. When I told him of our adventure, he seemed a little shocked and (I strongly believe) upset. It was dark, so it was hard to gauge his reaction, but he wasn't too thrilled about Jason's John Hancock. I didn't care. Here he had dumped me on Valentine's Day for 9th row Metallica seats, while I got all the way to 1st row, backstage, and had a silly little conversation with Jason Newsted. Jealous a little? Perhaps.

As I lay in bed that night next to him, I thought to myself: moral of the story--don't dump me on Valentine's Day! With that, I fell asleep smiling.

Years later I realized how much Jason Newsted looks like Dale Earnhardt Jr., and the attraction ceased almost immediately. In fact, I haven't found Jason attractive since about 2000. But for that night....that one night....he was my dreamboat.

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Jason Newsted is next...I swear!

The men in my life

Next up will be Jason Newsted. Yes, Jason Curtis Newsted of Metallica. Don't judge! I know you're laughing.

There's a great story behind this crush. A Valentine's Day story. It's a juicy one, and it involves Jason's scribble, being dumped, my jumblies, revenge, and jumping a barricade to embrace a roadie. Twice.

Stay tuned.

Ten Thousand Villages of Raleigh

I started a blog for them (as well as a Facebook page, Twitter, and LinkedIn group). Get yourself educated. Take a peek: http://villagesofraleigh.blogspot.com

Can anyone please send me about 6 more hours per day?

I could really use 30 instead of 24. This girl has to sleep SOMETIME. Jimminy crickets, it's been a crazy week.

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The men in my life: Matthew

Ok, seriously, how can I NOT go gaga over this actor? 1. He's an Austinite and die-hard Longhorns fan. 2. He prefers his Airstream trailer over a fancy hotel room 3. Three words: Just Keep Livin' 4. He was arrested for smoking pot while dancing around in the buff and beating on bongos 5. Pabst 6. Just look at him!!!

It was the summer of 1996 when I went to the Colonial Village theater in Rockford, IL to watch A Time to Kill. I walked into the theater excited that my favorite John Grisham novel was made into a movie. I left the theater starry eyed over its lead actor. In fact, he's the only actor I've found attractive in the past 13 years. I'm still a sucker for those Texan peepers!

I fell in love with Austin, TX back in 1998 when I flew down to visit my friend Aaron S. I spent a week at his place with my other close Wisconsin pal Andy R, and the three of us tore up the town. Andy and I flew from Mitchell to Dallas, and Aaron picked us up from the airport in a Mustang convertible. We drove the three hours back to Austin, Andy and I knocking back a few beers along the way. We drove straight to 6th Street. I mean, our luggage was still in Aaron's trunk. We went straight from the airport to the Library and proceeded to engage in a mean game of Golden Tee. That entire week was such a blast. We hiked around the Barton Creek Greenbelt, ate at the Salt Lick, climbed Mount Bonnell, rabble-roused at the Tavern on 12th and Lamar, spent another whole night on Cedar Street, and then attended this crazy house party/crawdaddy boil where I was thrown into Lake Travis and came back to Aaron's place wearing some rasta guy's tee shirt because mine was covered in sludge. Aaron was dating this girl Jennifer, and she and I bonded pretty quickly after going to the local grocery store to pick up some live crawdaddies.

I came back to Austin many times after that. Sometimes I'd see Aaron, and sometimes I wouldn't. I started striking up some new friendships, including an equine vet I hoped to start dating. I visited McCombs at UT with every intention of moving there in October 2001 and starting my MBA program full-time in the fall of 2002. In May of 2001 I even picked out my apartment off Spyglass Drive (Misson Barton Creek) and put a deposit down. I loved everything about Austin, especially SXSW, Stubbs, the Red River District, and Zilker Park. I was so ready to leave the Midwest!!

Then on June 20, 2001 I went out on a blind date that changed my life forever. I didn't know it at the time, but this blind date was going to become my husband 4.5 years later. During the first three months of our dating I postponed my Austin move because everything about Mike M felt right. I mean, everything. He didn't know it yet, but I did.

Life is crazy sometimes.

Anyway, Matthew McConaughey, I must let you know my husband has offered me a free night with you should you ever knock on my door, but I had to promise my husband the same should Elisabeth Shue come knocking instead.

Congratulations on being my only non-musician crush in the past decade and a half!

Best wishes with Camila and Levi. Just Keep Livin'!