The men in my life, inspired by the Prodigy. First up: John.

I found out Prodigy's releasing a new album in the spring, followed by a tour of the UK. Hearing this news made me all hot and bothered to peck at the computer to see what other related tidbits I could find about my college crush, Keith Flint. As I caught up with the Prodigy's goings-on over the past 5-7 years, I found myself drifting back to memories of when I started listening to their music for the first time in the early 90s....and I got all wistful. Curse my hard wiring.

I have decided to post my biggest crushes I can remember from my days of youth, as these fellas were the ones I turned to when I needed to heal, to explore, to challenge, and to escape. Each crush of mine brings back all sorts of memories....some were happy, but many of them were not all that pleasant.

The earliest crush I can remember is John Stamos. Yes, Uncle Jesse from Full House. I was 10, and I had this dream that he surprised me with a diamond heart necklace and then whisked me away into a hot tub (it was all innocent....I was TEN for chrissakes). Most of the boys (and many of the girls) at my elementary school used to tease me a lot and leave me out of their circles since I was a straight A student with a boyish haircut and big glasses. I was a geek, and they all let me know it. I spent most of my childhood and the very beginning of my teen years confused and hurt by their cruelty. With the outside world having its way with me emotionally, I clung that much tighter to my family....like a life jacket in a turbulent sea.....and turned inward to my studies to even a greater degree. Most emotional risks I took back then burned me. So I focused on my grades and the people who loved me (my parents, brother, grandparents, aunt and cousins). I also wanted a knight in shining armor to come whisk me away from all the mean kids. Someone handsome, dashing, funny, and imperfect. That man was John Stamos. I clipped out his pictures from my Tiger Beat and Bop magazines and daydreamed about him every time I would get sad. I also watched every episode of Full House without fail. John Stamos was my imaginary boyfriend.

Normally I'd feel silly admitting this, but after 20+ years he still looks pretty fine!